1 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:03,903 [doorbell ringing] - I got it. 2 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,140 Hi, Miss Cathcart. 3 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:08,941 - Hi, Dennis. 4 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,042 You're just the boy I need. 5 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,510 How would you like a job? 6 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,478 - Sure, Miss Cathcart. 7 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:13,879 What's to it? 8 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,881 - Well, I need somebody to rake up the leaves once a week, 9 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,817 mow the lawn, take the trash cans out on pick-up days, 10 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,619 wash a few windows, and bring in some firewood. 11 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,554 How does $0.50 a week sound? 12 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,856 - Gosh. 13 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,859 It sounds fine up through setting out the trash cans. 14 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,261 You've got a lot of windows, Miss Cathcart. 15 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,231 - Oh. Well, $0.75. 16 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,365 It's a deal. 17 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,768 - We haven't even got to the firewood yet. 18 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,137 - Oh, gee, Dennis, what a haggler. 19 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:39,571 Well, $1 a week. 20 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:43,008 - Miss Cathcart, now it's a deal. 21 00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:45,978 - OK. 22 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,446 - Why, hello, Miss Cathcart. 23 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:48,147 - Oh. 24 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,214 Hello, Mrs. Mitchell. 25 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,649 I was just hiring Dennis for a few chores, 26 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:51,750 if you've no objection. 27 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,085 - Oh, not at all. 28 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,754 Anything that keeps him in pocket money I'm all for. 29 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,122 - You don't know how lucky you are, 30 00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:00,325 having a man around the house, happily married, looking 31 00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:01,593 so young and lovely. 32 00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:04,063 - Oh, why, thank you, Miss Cathcart. 33 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,931 - And all because you've found your own knight 34 00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:07,466 in shining armor. 35 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:08,867 HENRY (OFFSCREEN): Alice? 36 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,703 Where's that screwdriver I left on the sink? 37 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,870 Oh, hi, Miss Cathcart. 38 00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:13,172 - Hello, Mr. Mitchell. 39 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,541 - I'm afraid my knight's a little tarnished right now. 40 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,976 - I'm cleaning the furnace. 41 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,610 - Well, there's nothing wrong with a little good clean soot, 42 00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:19,678 Mr. Mitchell. 43 00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:20,679 Gee, I wouldn't care what he looked 44 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,647 like if I had a man around the house 45 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,115 to keep the home fires burning. 46 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,416 Well, I've got to be running along. 47 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,085 I'll see you this afternoon after school, Dennis. 48 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,453 - OK, Miss Cathcart. 49 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,120 - Bye. - Goodbye. 50 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,290 - Goodbye. - Gosh. 51 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,792 She shouldn't have much trouble getting a husband. 52 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,829 She doesn't sound very hard to please. 53 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,103 [theme music] 54 00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:14,767 - Eloise, good news. 55 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,236 Krinkie wants me to write the "Jane Butterfield" column 56 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,371 for a few weeks for the paper. 57 00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,975 - You mean that advice to the lovelorn thing? 58 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,442 - Why not? 59 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,678 I'll advise the lovelorn or anyone 60 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:30,416 who hopes to be lovelorn for $2,000. 61 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,252 Listen to this, Eloise. 62 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,421 Dear Jane Butterfield. 63 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:39,091 I am in love with a nice man who passes my house every day, 64 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,760 but I can't get him to stop and get acquainted. 65 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,862 He seems very shy. 66 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,631 What shall I do? 67 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,667 Signed, Hopeful. 68 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,003 [chuckling] 69 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:53,239 - Fortunately, I know just the advice to give her. 70 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,444 Dear Hopeful. 71 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:02,481 Remember, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. 72 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,750 Why don't you bake a nice apple pie 73 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,152 for the object of your affections? 74 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,188 - When do we get the $2,000? 75 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,256 - As soon as I achieve results. 76 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:15,060 The column has been allowed to run down. 77 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:18,097 Do you know what we're going to do with the money? 78 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:22,835 We are going to take a vacation trip to Canada. 79 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,836 - Aw. [knocking] 80 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,238 DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Mr. Wilson! 81 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:26,906 - Come in, Dennis. 82 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,745 - Hi, Mr. Wilson. 83 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,480 Mom said you wanted to see me. 84 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,882 - Yes, I-- I have a job for you. 85 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,685 There's, uh, $1 in it if you're interested. 86 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,120 - Boy, it's raining jobs. 87 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,354 Am I interested. 88 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:43,555 - Good. 89 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,457 I had these handbills printed this morning, 90 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,526 and I want you to distribute them for me. 91 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:48,995 Tack them up all over town. 92 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,796 Put them every place. 93 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,564 DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Is romance your problem? 94 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,633 Consult Jane Butterfield. 95 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,935 - "Jane Butterfield" is a newspaper column, 96 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,672 Dennis, only I'll be writing it. 97 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,041 And giving the advice to the lovelorn. 98 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,342 - Oh, I get it. 99 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,045 - Before I'm finished, I'll have every single woman 100 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,680 in this town happily married. 101 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,415 - Hear, hear. 102 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,251 - And I'll be helping by taking these handbills around, huh? 103 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,753 - You are making a great contribution. 104 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,089 Uh, but Dennis, I don't want people 105 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,825 to know that I'm Jane Butterfield. 106 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:22,728 After all, I'm a magazine writer. 107 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,830 - OK, Mr. Wilson. 108 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,099 Hey, with all these weddings coming up, 109 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:32,771 I better go tell our minister to start getting ready right now. 110 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,709 [chuckling] 111 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:37,676 - Yoo-hoo! 112 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:39,478 Yoo-hoo, Sgt. Mooney. 113 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,947 I never saw you look more handsome. 114 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,615 - Oh, Miss Cathcart. 115 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,084 - I knew you'd be along this way. 116 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,920 You never walk down my street, you naughty boy. 117 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,189 - Well, Elm Street is closer to where I board and room. 118 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,490 - Well, why don't you walk me home now? 119 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,791 It's just a block over. 120 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,093 I want to show you some snapshots taken 121 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,527 of me on the beach last summer. 122 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:56,495 - Uh, sorry, Miss Cathcart. 123 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,097 Some other time, maybe. 124 00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,098 - When? 125 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,699 - Well, sometime when I'm not so busy. 126 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,434 I'm in a hurry right now. 127 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,902 - You ought to relax more, sergeant. 128 00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:06,405 All work and no play-- oh. 129 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:07,474 - Uh, goodbye, Miss Cathcart. 130 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,679 - That's a knight who has to have a chink in his armor someplace. 131 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,885 - Dennis, what are you doing? 132 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,053 - Hi, Miss Tarbell. 133 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,222 I'm putting up handbills about Jane Butterfield. 134 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:26,492 - Her column was very interesting this morning. 135 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,395 - You think Jane Butterfield gives pretty good advice, huh? 136 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,764 - We'll soon see, Dennis. 137 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,365 Hello, Sgt. Mooney. 138 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,299 - Hello, Miss Tarbell. 139 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,434 - Hi, Sgt. Mooney. 140 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,802 - Hey, what are you putting up there, Dennis? 141 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,571 - Oh, you wouldn't be interested in that, Sgt. Mooney. 142 00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,073 I was hoping you'd come along. 143 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:44,176 I've just baked a big, yummy apple pie. 144 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,678 - That's nice. 145 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,080 - Why don't you come over and, uh, rest your tired little feet 146 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,115 while you sample a big juicy slice? 147 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,417 - Well, thanks, Miss Tarbell, but I-- 148 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,152 - Oh, come on. You like apple pie. 149 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,387 And if I do say so myself, nobody 150 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,322 makes them more mouth-watering. 151 00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:58,624 - Well, sorry, Miss Tarbell, but I-- 152 00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,858 - Oh, don't be stuffy. 153 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,461 You're on your way to lunch, aren't you? 154 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,130 - Well, uh, it is lunch hour. 155 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,366 I guess there's no harm in eating apple pie as 156 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,034 long as I don't do it on city time. 157 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,371 - Oh, Sgt. Mooney, you're so cute and droll. 158 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,041 [laughter] 159 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,409 - Boy, what an operator. 160 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:23,716 Bet she's had advice from Jane Butterfield. 161 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,185 [doorbell ringing] 162 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,390 - Well, Lucy, how are things with you? 163 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,825 - Oh, just wonderful, Esther. 164 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,628 I don't know when I've been so utterly fluttery and happy. 165 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,164 - Oh, the trick mustache show up again after all these years? 166 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,201 - Oh, I've forgotten Mr. Penrose ever existed. 167 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:45,972 Anyway, he was never the gentleman that Sgt. Mooney is. 168 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,674 - Sgt. Mooney? - Oh, he's such a dreamboat. 169 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,143 And he seems to be so happy to have discovered me. 170 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:51,978 - Oh, rats. 171 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,278 I saw Sgt. Mooney this morning. 172 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,313 He didn't look so happy. 173 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,581 In fact, he was going to walk me home, 174 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,383 but he was in a hurry to get to another appointment. 175 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,351 - He was in a hurry to get to my house. 176 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,086 We had lunch together. 177 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:01,820 - You're kidding. 178 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,022 How did you corral him? 179 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,557 - Oh, a little birdie showed me how. 180 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,159 - Well, just because you've had lunch with a man 181 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,528 doesn't give you a 99-year lease on him. 182 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,363 - I hate to disappoint you, dear, but he's 183 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,732 coming back this evening. 184 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,368 - Oh, come on, Lucy, your cooking isn't that good. 185 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,037 I've had it. 186 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,205 - Sgt. Mooney is so protective. 187 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:23,042 I just mentioned that I had prowlers at my place-- 188 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,076 - Prowlers? 189 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,511 - I've got to run along, dear. 190 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:29,048 I want to pick up some yummy tidbits at the grocery store. 191 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,717 Sgt. Mooney loves to eat. 192 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,318 It's been nice chatting with you, dear. 193 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:42,928 - Great. 194 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,096 Hello, police department? 195 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,197 Get me the chief. 196 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,532 [phone buzzing] 197 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,600 - Chief Doyle speaking. 198 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,969 Who? 199 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,403 Oh, Miss Cathcart. 200 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,238 Yeah, what's the trouble, ma'am? 201 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,473 - Well, I've been hearing prowlers 202 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,908 around the house, chief, and I think 203 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,210 it ought to be investigated. How about sending Sgt. Mooney? 204 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,079 - Just a minute, ma'am. 205 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,481 Mooney. 206 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,582 - Yeah, chief? 207 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,317 - There's a Miss Cathcart on the phone. 208 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,152 She's complaining about hearing prowlers. 209 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,088 - Oh, chief, she doesn't have any prowlers. 210 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,189 She just wishes she did. 211 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,323 - Get going, Mooney. 212 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,659 That's an order. 213 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:18,764 - Sgt. Mooney, what brings you to Esther Cathcart's house? 214 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,599 - Well, she's a taxpayer just like you. 215 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,034 She's entitled to protection. 216 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,235 She complained about prowlers. 217 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,103 - Prowlers? 218 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,638 Why, that's my i-- - Huh? 219 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,841 - I-- I mean, uh, fiddlesticks. 220 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,809 She doesn't have any prowlers. 221 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,077 - That's what I told the chief, but I 222 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,046 have to make a routine check, just like with you. 223 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:34,948 Chief's orders. 224 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:35,882 [laughing nervously] 225 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,289 [doorbell ringing] 226 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,360 - Come in, sergeant. 227 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,661 While you sit down and catch your breath, 228 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:50,863 I'll show you those snapshots. 229 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,097 - Now, Miss Cathcart, maybe I'd better 230 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,298 check around outside for the prowler. 231 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,166 - Oh, he's gone now. 232 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,267 Come on and have a cup of tea. 233 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,502 - Well, if he's gone, I'll be on my way. 234 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,304 - Well, he might come back if you stay long enough. 235 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,573 Now, then, tea? Sugar? 236 00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,308 - Miss Cathcart, no prowler's going 237 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,277 to snoop around in the broad daylight. 238 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,445 - Well, did you ever stop to think 239 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,880 he might still be in the house? 240 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,015 I tell you, I hear noises, sergeant. 241 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,450 - What noises? 242 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,351 [thumping] 243 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,252 - What was that? 244 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,219 - You see? 245 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,521 Now we'd better have a cup of tea 246 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,056 and sit very close together and steady our nerves. 247 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,426 - Miss Cathcart, I don't think you have a problem. 248 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,326 - No problem? 249 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,094 Are you kidding? 250 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,395 - I gotta get back to work. 251 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,363 [phone ringing] 252 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,464 - Oh, wait a minute, sergeant. 253 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,665 That may be a threatening phone call. 254 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,868 - I'll check it out myself, if you don't mind. 255 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:30,836 Hello? 256 00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,872 - Is that you, Sgt. Mooney? 257 00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,641 Well, I just heard that prowler again, 258 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,676 and I'm terribly frightened. 259 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,878 Could you rush right over? 260 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,513 - Oh, Miss Tarbell, again? 261 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,381 - Tarbell? 262 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:42,949 - Take it easy. 263 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,216 I'm on my way. 264 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,152 Goodbye, Miss Cathcart. 265 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,154 - That Tarbell. 266 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,624 Swiped him right out from under my nose, and by telephone. 267 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,298 [knocking] 268 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,735 - Oh, hello, Dennis. 269 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,636 - I'm here to do those chores, Miss Cathcart. 270 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,038 - Oh. 271 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,940 Well, you can rake up the leaves and take out the trash cans 272 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,108 before it gets dark. 273 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,309 - OK. 274 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,243 Hey, Miss Cathcart. 275 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,878 You were telling my mom how lucky 276 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,513 she is to have a husband, huh? 277 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,281 - I'll say she's lucky. 278 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,484 - Well, did you ever think about writing 279 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,986 to Jane Butterfield in the paper? 280 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,422 I mean, maybe she could help you find one. 281 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:24,623 - Jane Butterfield? 282 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,525 Is that the way your mother got your father? 283 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,793 - I don't think so. 284 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,162 But you might get some swell advice. 285 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,463 - Could be. 286 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,899 - Jane Butterfield says before she's finished, 287 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:37,302 she'll have every single woman in town happily married. 288 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,038 - Did Jane Butterfield say that? 289 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,539 - That's what I heard. 290 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,008 Better think it over, Miss Cathcart. 291 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,710 - Oh, I wouldn't want to air my personal affairs 292 00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,546 in a newspaper, Dennis. 293 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,282 Dear Jane. 294 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,920 - Well, Dennis, thanks to your help with those handbills, 295 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,422 our mail is picking up. 296 00:10:56,423 --> 00:11:00,059 - I've been telling people about Jane Butterfield, Mr. Wilson. 297 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,628 - You didn't tell them that I'm Jane Butterfield? 298 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:03,495 - Oh, no. 299 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,231 Nobody knows you're a woman. 300 00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,200 - Uh, thank you. 301 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,969 Well, let's see who's lovelorn today. 302 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,671 Uh, dear Jane, I am the aggressive type 303 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,106 and very attractive. 304 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:17,176 I've tried everything but a lasso to rope my sugar cookie, 305 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,377 but failed. 306 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:21,113 He's a policeman and supposed to be brave, 307 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,449 but around me he's a coward. 308 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,117 Any suggestions? 309 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,319 Signed, Frustrated. 310 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,887 - What's frustrated? 311 00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,155 - Oh. 312 00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,925 That's when you want something and can't have it. 313 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,593 - Like when I want a missile gun and Dad 314 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,929 won't let me have it, huh? 315 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,431 - That's frustrating. - Frustrated? 316 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,100 Is that the way that one's signed? 317 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,301 - That's right. 318 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:46,572 - Well, how are you going to un-frustrate her, Janie? 319 00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:47,606 - Janie? 320 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,675 - Now Eloise, cut that out. 321 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,610 It's another woman with a desperate problem, 322 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,847 and I happen to know a little trick that will work for her. 323 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,816 I remember it worked for you, my dear. 324 00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,151 - What trick? 325 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,387 - Oh, pretending to have a sprained ankle 326 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,889 so that I'd have to carry you in my arms. 327 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,525 - Now, John Wilson, my ankle was in a cast for weeks. 328 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,861 - So was my poor back. 329 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:12,164 - I guess you were pretty frustrated, huh, Mr. Wilson? 330 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,066 - Ha. - Ahem. 331 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,802 Well, to work. 332 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,771 Dear Frustrated. 333 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,376 - Why, Esther. 334 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:27,279 Aren't you a little dressy for gardening? 335 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,814 - You're a little gussied up yourself. 336 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:29,948 What for? 337 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,583 - I just thought I'd come over and walk along 338 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,253 with Sgt. Mooney. 339 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,254 - Yeah? 340 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,689 What makes you think he's coming? 341 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,090 - I called the police station. 342 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,826 They said he'd left for a routine assignment on Spruce 343 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,327 Street. 344 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:45,165 I just figured he was about due to check up on your prowlers. 345 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:48,935 And I was right. 346 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,174 Hello, Sgt. Mooney. 347 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,876 - Why, sergeant, you look sharp as a tack. 348 00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:58,744 - Eek! Help! 349 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,346 Put it away quick! Eek! 350 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,814 Esther, what are you doing? 351 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:02,815 Whoa! 352 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,283 I'm all wet. 353 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,685 - Oh, I'm so sorry. 354 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,121 Here, let me dry you off. - My mink. 355 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,189 Not my mink. 356 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,224 It's ruined. - Sorry, I lost my head. 357 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,092 I'll get a towel. 358 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,060 - My mink. 359 00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,062 [sobbing] 360 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,263 - Help! Ow! 361 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,966 Ow! Ow! 362 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,633 - Are you OK, Miss Cathcart? 363 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,868 - Of course I'm not OK. 364 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,703 I sprained my ankle. 365 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:25,871 - That's too bad. 366 00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,773 - Well, are you just going to let me sit here? 367 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,141 Where's your gallantry? 368 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,309 - Excuse me. 369 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,845 Maybe I can help you hobble into the house. 370 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,079 - Oh, I've sprained both ankles. 371 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,280 I can't walk. 372 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,082 - Oh, brother, then I'll have to carry you. 373 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,584 - Yeah. 374 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:42,154 - Sgt. Mooney, are you going to let her get away with that? 375 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,423 - Miss Tarbell, a policeman has to do his duty. 376 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:48,260 She's a taxpayer. 377 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,229 [sobbing] 378 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,300 - So that's who Frustrated is. 379 00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:59,406 Boy, Mr. Wilson's advice may be corny, but it sure works. 380 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,143 - Put me over in that chair, Harold. 381 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,078 The name is Harold, isn't it? 382 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,380 Oh, I guess you'd better put me over in that chair over there. 383 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,950 I think Harold is such a distinguished name. 384 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,685 Or maybe you'd better put me on the couch. 385 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,286 - Have a heart, Miss Cathcart. 386 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,387 - I have a heart. 387 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,588 And the name is Esther, 388 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,156 - Harold. 389 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:17,856 - I know, I know. 390 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,658 - Oh, hold it. 391 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:20,459 - Make up your mind. 392 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,061 This ain't no child's play. 393 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,062 - I know. 394 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,129 Can you carry me out to the kitchen? 395 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,264 - The kitchen? 396 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,465 - I've got some fried chicken in the oven. 397 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,367 We could have a nice, cozy dinner for two. 398 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,836 - Oh no, we can't. 399 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,073 - Harold Mooney. 400 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,942 - Mr. Wilson! 401 00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,377 Mr. Wilson! 402 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,812 - Yes, Dennis. 403 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,514 Coming, coming. 404 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,316 What is it, Dennis? - Mr. Wilson? 405 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,684 Did you know when you wrote that stuff 406 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,586 about apple pies and sprained ankles, 407 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,656 you were helping Miss Tarbell and Miss Cathcart trap Sgt. 408 00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,590 Mooney? 409 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,092 - Oh, no. 410 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,159 - Are you sure? 411 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,661 - Sure, I'm sure. 412 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:59,331 I just saw Sgt. Mooney carrying Miss Cathcart into her house. 413 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,599 - Good heaven. 414 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,468 I wonder if he'll ever get out. 415 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:06,338 - Well, after that sprained ankle trick, you didn't. 416 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,375 - Looks like Sgt. Mooney is the one who needs help. 417 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,110 Boy, is he in the middle. 418 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,811 Two women. 419 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,381 - Dennis, there's no doubt about it. 420 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,549 - Maybe he never even thought about writing 421 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,184 to Jane Butterfield. 422 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,886 Maybe I ought to see that he gets 423 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,155 a handbill, huh, Mr. Wilson? 424 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,959 - My boy, you are thinking like a genius. 425 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,494 The more letters I get, the better Krinkie will like it, 426 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:32,097 and the sooner we can get off on our Canadian vacation. 427 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,067 - Is it worth another dollar if I can swing it? 428 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,469 - You are not only thinking like a genius, 429 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,406 you are a shrewd businessman. 430 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,774 - See you later. 431 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:45,544 - Bye. 432 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,480 - I was wondering if I could leave these handbills here. 433 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,082 Maybe you could give them to the guys in jail 434 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,184 if they happen to have a romantic problem. 435 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,753 - Do you want to know something? 436 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,689 Jail isn't a bad place for a guy to hole up 437 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:59,825 if he's got a romantic problem. 438 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,760 Is romance your problem? 439 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:05,831 Consult Jane Butterfield daily in the "Chronicle." 440 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,067 Nah, that stuff's bunk. 441 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,635 - Gosh, Sgt. Mooney. 442 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,539 You'd be surprised if you knew how well her advice works. 443 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,174 - How do you know so much, Dennis? 444 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:19,144 - Well, I know someone who knows Jane Butterfield real well. 445 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:23,048 And he says-- I mean, she says when she's through, 446 00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:27,419 every single woman in town will be happily married. 447 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,487 - No kidding? 448 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,723 - So if Jane Butterfield can do that, 449 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:33,293 why can't she tell a man how not to get trapped? 450 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,297 - Yeah. 451 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,832 - So would you give these to anybody 452 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,267 in jail with a romantic problem, Sgt. Mooney? 453 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,904 I'll see you around. 454 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,407 - It's a cinch. I've got to try something. 455 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,412 Dear Jane. 456 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:59,651 - Dear Jane, I am a desk officer, but the chief assigned me 457 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,522 to two dames' houses regularly to check for prowlers. 458 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,424 They both just want to get married 459 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,226 and are driving me crazy. 460 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,561 How can I get rid of them without insulting them 461 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,097 or losing my job and pension? 462 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,600 P.S., don't put this in the paper. 463 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:19,338 Just send advice in a hurry to Sgt. Harold Mooney. 464 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,839 - Oh! 465 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,542 - You see, John happens to know that the two ladies in question 466 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,744 are Miss Tarbell and Miss Cathcart. 467 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,212 [gasp] - Oh, dear. 468 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,783 - And he's already given them advice on how to get their man. 469 00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,284 - Oh! 470 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:36,121 Mr. Wilson, how can you be fair to both women and Sgt. Mooney? 471 00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,757 - It's simply a matter of professional ethics. 472 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:43,128 I advise each one impartially according to his or her needs. 473 00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,863 - King Solomon. 474 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,266 - Now, in Sgt. Mooney's case, I would 475 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:50,135 advise him to say that he is sending alimony 476 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:53,639 to four ex-wives, that he would like a fifth 477 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,642 to be a mother to his six children. 478 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,443 - Oh. 479 00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,111 - That should frighten them. 480 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,046 - That should frighten anybody. 481 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,016 [laughter] 482 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:10,356 - I have four ex-wives, but I would like a fifth 483 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:16,095 to help me pay alimony and support my six children. 484 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:19,031 Jane Butterfield. 485 00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,867 Man oh man, that ought to do it. 486 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,302 [chuckling] 487 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:29,274 - I was beginning 488 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,143 trying to avoid me, sergeant. 489 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,711 - Well, Miss Cathcart, I didn't want 490 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:33,912 to get you mixed up in my life. 491 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,048 - Oh, I'd love to get mixed up. 492 00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:38,952 Sorry, I forgot. 493 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,053 Sit over here. 494 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,124 - Now, Miss Cathcart, I-- I thought it over. 495 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,358 - So have I. 496 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,060 - And I'm thinking I ought to settle down and find 497 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,661 a mother for my six children. 498 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,063 - Six children? 499 00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:52,831 I didn't even know you'd been married. 500 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,266 - Four times. 501 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,801 - Kind of shakes you up, doesn't it? 502 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:56,869 - Four times? 503 00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,737 I didn't know you were such a Lochinvar. 504 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,540 Why, I'd be number five. 505 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,741 - Of course, there's the small matter 506 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,144 of paying alimony to four ex-wives. 507 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,845 - Alimony to four women. 508 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,014 - And I expect number five to help take care of them. 509 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,249 - Well, I'm a good kid. 510 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,016 We'll manage. 511 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,451 Yippee, we're engaged. 512 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,585 - You don't know what you're doing. 513 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,887 - That's what you think. 514 00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:15,922 [phone ringing] 515 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,490 - Heck of a time to be interrupted. 516 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,693 Hello? 517 00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:22,929 - Esther, this is Lucy Tarbell. 518 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,597 Let me speak to Sgt. Mooney. 519 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,533 - It won't do you any good, honey. 520 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,502 Sgt. Mooney and I just got engaged. 521 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,739 And if that doesn't throw you for a loop, brace yourself. 522 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,175 I'm going to be a mother. 523 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,480 Lucy? 524 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,048 Must have fainted. 525 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,419 Harold? Harold? 526 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,595 Harold. 527 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:59,365 So Sgt. Mooney and I got engaged, chief, 528 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,266 but he got away before I found out 529 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,836 where I could see our six children. 530 00:20:03,837 --> 00:20:08,440 - Mooney says he has four ex-wives and six kids? 531 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:09,475 Mooney! 532 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,076 Come in here. 533 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,214 - Hello, honey bun. 534 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,448 - You want me, chief? 535 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,617 - I don't know if I want you any longer or not. 536 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,619 What's this you've been hiding from the force? 537 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,288 How come we don't know about all those wives you're supporting? 538 00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,591 {\an8}- It's OK, chief, I'm willing to help. 539 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,726 {\an8}- Chief, there isn't a word of truth in it. 540 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,561 The whole idea was hatched by this Jane Butterfield 541 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,996 at the "Chronicle." 542 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,666 - You've been getting advice from Jane Butterfield too? 543 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,801 - Well, it looks to me like this Jane Butterfield 544 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,436 is stirring up too much trouble. 545 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:41,373 And nobody's going to make a monkey out of this department. 546 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,043 Get me Krinkie at the "Chronicle." 547 00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:46,145 - Wow! 548 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,546 - Ah. 549 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:50,783 Dennis, I can hardly wait to get up to the Canadian north woods. 550 00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:54,420 I am going to catch myself a whopper. 551 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,089 - Sure got the equipment for it, Mr. Wilson. 552 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,158 - Including that aluminum boat out in 553 00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:02,928 my garage, $300 worth of equipment. 554 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:07,132 And all paid for by my Jane Butterfield column. 555 00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:10,302 - Has Mr. Krinkie paid you the $2,000 already? 556 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:11,570 - No, no. 557 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,506 But with the letters pouring in, thanks to your help, 558 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,908 it won't be long. 559 00:21:15,909 --> 00:21:19,078 - Gee, I just can't believe it. 560 00:21:19,079 --> 00:21:20,145 - Believe what? 561 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,214 - I just saw Miss Cathcart on my way over 562 00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:24,450 here a little while ago, and she said she 563 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,952 and Sgt. Mooney are getting married. 564 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,654 - Really? 565 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:31,390 Well, I guess Mooney finally surrendered 566 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,092 to her fatal charms. 567 00:21:33,093 --> 00:21:35,094 - He told me he'd stay in jail first. 568 00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:38,897 - Oh, this will really cinch the success of the column. 569 00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:40,733 I'll have Krinkie put a picture of Mooney 570 00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,102 and his bride in the paper with the caption, 571 00:21:43,103 --> 00:21:47,873 Jane Butterfield makes two hearts beat as one. 572 00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,141 [doorbell ringing] 573 00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:50,110 - Now, excuse me. 574 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,748 Oh, Krinkie, we were just talking-- 575 00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:58,117 - What are you trying to do, Wilson, ruin my newspaper? 576 00:21:58,118 --> 00:22:00,285 - Well, I'm doing a good job for you, aren't I? 577 00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:01,553 - Too good, I'm afraid. 578 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,389 You've got the police chief on my neck. 579 00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:06,225 Says one of his men is in a mess acting on your advice. 580 00:22:06,226 --> 00:22:07,593 Defamation of character. 581 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:08,660 He may sue. 582 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,294 - Sue? 583 00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:10,662 - He's pretty sore. 584 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,098 - So I'm going to drop the column 'til things simmer down. 585 00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:13,832 - Drop it? 586 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,601 What about my $2,000? 587 00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:16,902 - I'm sorry, Wilson. 588 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,338 I'll give you $50 to cover out-of-pocket expenses. 589 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:20,172 - $50? 590 00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:21,607 What about my Canadian vacation? 591 00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:23,909 I've already spent $300 on equipment. 592 00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:25,144 - I'm sorry. 593 00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:27,146 I'll advertise it for you in my secondhand column. 594 00:22:27,147 --> 00:22:28,147 - Secondhand? 595 00:22:28,148 --> 00:22:29,782 - Here's your $50, Wilson. 596 00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:31,183 And our deal is off. 597 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,851 - Krinkie, I am not going to take it. 598 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,153 - Well, I am. $50? 599 00:22:34,154 --> 00:22:35,621 That'll just pay the down payment 600 00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:36,755 on fixing my busted sofa. 601 00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,792 They'll send you a bill for the rest. 602 00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:42,327 And let me tell you something, Janie Butterdrops. 603 00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,329 Your advice is for the birds. 604 00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,831 Sprained ankle indeed. 605 00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:46,799 Ha! 606 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,135 - Now just a-- oh, would you-- hey! 607 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:51,170 Hey! 608 00:22:51,171 --> 00:22:54,406 Miss Cathcart, that's my-- I-- ugh. 609 00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,208 - Wilson, I'm surprised at you, hiding 610 00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:57,743 behind Jane Butterfield's skirts. 611 00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:00,412 - I was trying to help you out, Mooney. 612 00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:01,513 - Yeah, Sgt. Mooney. 613 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,482 Mr. Wilson was trying to help you. 614 00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,417 - Well, it just so happens you did, 615 00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,587 with the $50 I was going to have to cough up if you hadn't. 616 00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:09,888 - It just shows you, Mooney. 617 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,391 Nobody appreciates what you trying to do for them. 618 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,425 I work hard. 619 00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:15,227 I build up the column for Krinkie. 620 00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,830 Then, when I want to take a little Canadian vacation, 621 00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:19,466 he-- uh-oh. 622 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:23,936 - Oh, boy. 623 00:23:23,937 --> 00:23:25,804 Looks like you've got another dissatisfied 624 00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:27,206 customer, Mr. Wilson. 625 00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:28,507 - Close the door, Dennis. 626 00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:31,443 I don't want her to get in the house. 627 00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:35,647 - Apple pie is what you told me to serve, Jane Butterfield. 628 00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:38,117 Well, I won't bother to make an apple pie for you. 629 00:23:38,118 --> 00:23:41,653 I'll just serve them up as is. 630 00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:42,888 - It's a war! 631 00:23:42,889 --> 00:23:44,590 You'd better get behind something, Mr. Wilson. 632 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:45,557 - Going inside. 633 00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:49,495 I-- it's locked! 634 00:23:49,496 --> 00:23:51,430 - Sorry, Mr. Wilson, you told me to close it. 635 00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,865 - Never mind that now. 636 00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:54,900 Go on around back from the patio and open it from the inside, 637 00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:59,138 quick. 638 00:23:59,139 --> 00:24:00,639 - Now, cut that out, Miss Tarbell, 639 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,141 or I'll call the riot squad. 640 00:24:02,142 --> 00:24:04,610 - You keep out of this, you two-timing double-crosser. 641 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:16,655 - Don't close the door. 642 00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:17,490 Wait for me. 643 00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:22,094 - Whew. 644 00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:24,063 - Boy, you'd better leave for Canada no matter what it costs. 645 00:24:24,064 --> 00:24:25,064 - Advice to the lovelorn? 646 00:24:25,065 --> 00:24:27,700 I-- I wish I'd never seen that column. 647 00:24:27,701 --> 00:24:28,734 [thumping outside] 648 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:31,103 - Well, Mr. Wilson, if she keeps it up, 649 00:24:31,104 --> 00:24:32,771 at least you'll have lots of apples. 650 00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:38,077 And I'll come over and help you eat apple pie every day. 651 00:24:38,078 --> 00:24:41,847 [laughing] 652 00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,216 - Oh, good grief. 653 00:24:52,859 --> 00:24:54,627 [theme music] 654 00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:33,599 ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): This has been a Screen Gems film 655 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:33,733 production.